Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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