I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
someone owes me an orgasm
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
