We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You pole danced in your parka.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize