So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
