I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Alive.
So much puke
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
