i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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