Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
