The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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