Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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