I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
