So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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