my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
