You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
