we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
