i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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