If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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