you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
