Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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