i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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