actually, I'm a sock model
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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