you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
