whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
