She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
