I looked at my own cervix.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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