Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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