I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
