he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
