I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
