Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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