I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
