I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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