Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
