she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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