dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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