I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize