Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
