Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
