it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize