I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
