"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
