We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
