how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
