people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize