chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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