"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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