nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
