idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She told me I should be a condom model.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
