redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
