a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
