probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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