Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
