Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize