Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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