My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
