"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
