I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
