You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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