I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
