Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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