Will you blow on my dice?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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