So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
